The Truth

The wait is just killing me....I've said and done all I could to make him see that this time, I'm not leaving and I'm not gonna run...But I guess I've hurt him too many times to let him trust me again...

Yes, is it true that I made him chase me for over a year before I agreed to go out with him. It is true that I didn't know what I wanted when I said yes to him. I was confused and I know that I should have never said yes in the first place...thing is, I wanted to see if the little feelings that I had for him were real. It was sorta like trying him on to see if he fit. Even on the day I broke up with Jack In The Box, I still wasn't sure what I felt for him. The one thing that I do know was that I was willing to give it a try with him because the truth is, I did like him. I did like him quite a lot. But it was my fault, I let him go when I had him.

It is true that every time First Love came back on the scene, I dropped everything I had to try and make it work with him. It was my fault...I don't deny it. I should have seen that First Love was never suppose to be the one to make me happy and that I was looking at the wrong guy the whole time...but I was blinded. I couldn't see that I was hurting someone else who loved me no matter what. He had loved me even when I was acting like a 'Monkey' as he called me. He had loved me when I cried my eyes over the most trivial things. He had loved me...

Don't get me wrong, I did like Jack In The Box....I did love him and I still do...and I only realized it when he was gone....truth is, if I didn't love him, I wouldn't be feeling the way I feel right now...I wouldn't be sitting here writing about all this...I could have just pretended nothing ever happened but I'm writing this and I'm still waiting....

Truth is, we really never know what we've got till it's gone and sometimes, it may be too late....But I'm hoping that I'm not too late....