My Goodbye Letter

Dear Vain_ _ _....

It's been a month since the confession from both of us but yet there are times that it feels like it was only yesterday. Yes, I must admit it does hurt that things did not go the way we planned it for but I try to tell myself that it was for the better.

Lately though, I've come to feel that you're avoiding me. It feels like there's always an excuse for you to hang up or refuse the offer of meeting up. I could be wrong, I could be reading too much into things but yet, I could be right.

Anway, this is to tell you that I don't wanna see you in the light of someone that I have feelings for anymore because I know thats never gonna happen. But if you cannot see that, then maybe its not worth my time trying anymore.

Thanks for your time...while it lasted anyway. Goodbye for now. Till you realize that your frienship means more to me than a relationship...

I'll always try to be there for you, even if you don't see it now...that's what the pillow is for...


Love,
Andrea

Just a Post

Met up with Crystopolitan and Shukreen for dinner on Saturday. It was suppose to be a small dinner gathering of Crystopolitan's HELP friends which turned out to be only the 3 of us because Archana couldn't make it and SmallCyn was stuck in the office.

Anyway, we updated each other on our working lives (except from Crys who is still in school!!!). Shuk announced that she recently got her house and had moved in. My god...I was shocked! Damn, the girl is younger than me and already has her own place!!!

Make mental note. "Must save money to buy my own place."

On a side note, I started reading this book called "It's a Wonderful Lie : 26 truths about life in your twenties" by Emily Franklin. SexyIsabel dedicated this book to me when she reviewed it in her blog. It's a compilation of confessions by women authors and they talk about how they got through the 'Quarter Life Crisis' that I so fondly talk about.

If you get the chance, do have a read. This book really touches the core issues that women in their 20's face. So if we think we're the only ones going through this problem, we're not alone. It's the same story for pretty much every woman in their 20's.

Saturday

It's a saturday and I'm sitting at a cafe in 1U having lunch and trying to look for good books to use for our agency's townhall meeting which is coming up.

The townhall meeting is basically our office gathering to make announcements, R&R and birthday celebrations. During the meetings, 3 teams are suppose to present something. It can be anything from a great campaign theme or how to manage stress. It's my teams turn and we've been so busy that its slipped our mind. It only dawned on me this morning and hence, I'm trying to do my homework.

It's not really working for me...I'm like the only one here with a notebook and looking through books..I feel like a workaholic -_-

Gotta get out of her and go home and live like a normal person. I wonder what he's doing at this moment...

It's Friday!!

Waiting for Friday ......

Here it comes!!!

What My Name Stands For

Got this from FunkyMonkeyErin's blog. Let's see what I get out of my name...

A : You like to drink
N : You like to drink
D : You like to drink
R : You like people
E : Damn good kisser
A : You like to drink

C : You are really silly
H : You have a very good personality and looks
O : Awesome kisser
N : You like to drink
G : You never let people tell you what to do

W : You are very broad minded
A : You like to drink
I : You are great in bed

L : Everyone loves you
I : You are great in bed
N : You like to drink
G : You never let people tell you what to do

okok...I get it...I like to drink -_-


Here's what each alphabet stand for:
A : You Like To Drink.
B : You like people.
C : You are really silly.
D : You like to drink.
E : Damn good kisser.
F : You are dead sexy.
G : You never let people tell you what to do.
H : You have a very good personality and looks.
I : You Are Great in bed.
J : People Adore you.
K : You're wild and crazy.
L : Everyone loves you.
M : best kisser ever.
N : You like to drink.
O : awesome kisser.
P : You are popular with all types of people.
Q : You are a hypocrite.
R : You like people.
S : Easy to fall in love with.
T : You're loyal to those who love you.
U : You really like to chill.
V : You are not judgemental.
W : You are very broad minded.
X : You never let people tell you what to do.
Y : Best g/f b/f anyone could ever ask for.
Z : Always ready

Dove Self-Esteem Fund

My agency (another country) came up with this ad which I must say is an awesome ad. Just imagine that there was no budget allocated for this campaign but the number of views generated was enough to start a campaign the next round. Check this out!

Hurt, Anger & Suicide

The card on the gift to him read "You have become an important part of my life and I'm thankful for you. I've come to believe that there are some things in life we must take risks. I'm still here..."

The sms was this : "Thank you for being so thoughtful. I'm really not the type of guy you should be waiting for. Nite."

I cried and I couldn't stop crying. It was bad enough I mixed wine with cough mixture. It pained me that the one thing I thought I could have, I now have to give it away. The more I thought about it, the more it angered me! It seemed like I was the only one disturbed by the whole situation. It seemed like after the confession 3 weeks ago, I'm the only one still hanging on to it because I'm hoping. While he on the other hand, seems to have forgotten about it altogether!

Did it not mean anything to tell me how you felt about me? Did it not mean anything to you when you said liked me? Did I not mean anything to you at all?

It seems my punishment is to not have the thing that makes me happy...then why do I even bother to be here...

Maybe I need to push you away just like the rest...Excuse me while I go dry my eyes...

Thank you SwenBobo for showing me you cared...for the rest who think I need to move on...stay away from me.

When You're Gone

I always needed time on my own
I never thought I'd need you there when I cry
And the days feel like years when I'm alone
And the bed where you lie is made up on your side

When you walk away I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now

[Chorus]
When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it ok
I miss you

I've never felt this way before
Everything that I do reminds me of you
And the clothes you left, they lie on the floor
And they smell just like you, I love the things that you do

When you walk away I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now

[Chorus]

We were made for each other
Out here forever
I know we were, yeah
All I ever wanted was for you to know
Everything I'd do, I'd give my heart and soul
I can hardly breathe I need to feel you here with me, yeah

The Week Of Emotions

Yesterday (Sunday, 1 July) marked 1 week since the confession and it has been a whirlwind of emotions for both of us.

We spent Monday avoiding the topic altogether, I guess each hoping that we'd forget about it.

Then on Tuesday, he accompanied me after a long day at work to run some errands. We ended up at his place eating my dinner and his supper. The talk we had ended with me breaking down in front of him a few times and he near to tears. Not an outcome either of us wanted but maybe it's for the best.

Wednesday, I ended up at his place again just to chill and watch tv. We talked a bit more about us but it was still best decided that we stay friends.

Thursday was a mere few minutes over the phone.

Friday & Saturday, no sound from both parties. Sunday, we talked as old friends do.

How is it that it seems the guy always has it easy? It always seems easier for them to move forward and yet for us ladies, the thought of letting go of something we think is good is so damn hard. Why do I feel that we're so near yet so far?