Missing In Action

Jack In The Box is still missing in action...eversince we were suppose to get together for a movie. I've tried calling many times but still to no avail...I'm still waiting but yet I have not heard from him...

Maybe you think I'm crazy for doing what I'm doing but I feel that it's the only way to let him know that I meant what I said bout not running away. You probably think I'm stupid and should just get on with life but something in me says that I need to stick around.

To Jack In The Box wherever you may be...I hope you're doing well...

What You're Made Of

"What You're Made Of" by Lucie Silvas

Just like I predicted, we're at the point of no return
We can go backwards, and no corners have been turned
I can't control it, if I sink or if I swim
'Cause I chose the water that I'm in
And it makes no difference who is right or wrong
I deserve much more than this
'Cause there's only one thing I want

[Chorus]
If it's not what you're made of
You're not what I'm looking for
You were willing but unable to give me anymore
There's no way,You're changing,
Cause some things will just never be mine,
You're not in love this time...but it's alright.

I hear you talking, but your words don't mean a thing
I doubt you ever put your heart into anything
It's not much to ask for, to get back what I put in
But I chose the waters that I'm in
And it makes no difference who is right or wrong
I deserve much more than this
'Cause there's only one thing I want

[Chorus]
If it's not what you're made of
You're not what I'm looking for
You were willing but unable to give me anymore
There's no way,You're changing,
Cause some things will just never be mine
You're not in love this time...but it's alright.

What's your definition of the one?
What do you really want him to become?
No matter what I sacrifice it's still never enough.
Just like I predictedI will sink before I swim
'Cause these are the waters that I'm in

[Chorus]
If it's not what you're made of
You're not what I'm looking for
You were willing, but unable to give me anymore
There's no way,You're changing,
'Cause some things will just never be mine
You're not in love this time.

Oh, if it's not what you're made of
You're not what I'm looking for
You where willing, but unable to give me anymore
There's no way,You're changing,
'Cause some things will just never be mine
You're not in love this time
You're not in love this time
You're not in love this time...

Back To Reality

I'm back from the beautiful island of Bali and it's back to reality for me. No more waking up to the sound of the waves from the private beach outside my hotel. No more sounds of birds chirpping at 6 a.m. Sigh...no more walking and shopping! No more island in the sun...

When I got back to KL, it was pouring cats and dogs. That was reality for me. The city never looked so dreary before.

But all in all, I had a wonderful time in Bali. There were no worries for me....no thoughts of still not holding a permanent job, no thoughts of bad relationships, most importantly, no thoughts about what I'm gonna do next. That was the life....relaxation...

I wasn't too keen to come back at first because the thought of facing reality just wasn't what I wanted...but being the city girl that I am, I know I couldn't stay away for too long. I thrive on the buzz and and busyness of it all....but going away once in a while is good. Sigh...if only I had a place by the beach to get away once in a while...

Holiday Needed

Sigh...it's finally the end of the week...It has been a very looonnngggg week for me. It has just been work, work and work. There are times where I haven't had the time to eat or even sit down to just take a breather. Those working will probably think, "what does she know about hard work." But my friends, I have finally understood...I now know what it's like and I empathize with you when you complain about work.

But I think what is worse about this is that I work for an NGO...yes..I am doing good for the community but it doesn't mean that I should be exploited. Some of you have heard my ranting but you would only understand if you were here...

Anyway, enough about work. I don't wanna think or even talk about work. As far as I know, I'll be on the exotic island of Bali tomorrow and I can't wait. It is definitely the long awaited holiday after all the heartache of relationships, not being employed and the stress of work. I'm gonna enjoy to the maximum and come back refreshed and ready to fight on the good fight.

Till the the next blogging...

What's Wrong With Me??

I have officially been in the work force for 1 week and 3 days. The first 5 days was the experience of my life. There was nothing to do and I thought I would just die at the thought of having to go through another day of not doing anything. But since then, things have changed. The workload of the event that the foundation is preparing for has come in and I have not been able to sit still for even 5 minutes. There have been nights when I only eat dinner at 10 p.m. Some of you reading this must be thinking, "What is she talking about?? That's normal!" But yes...I have experienced the late hours already and I won't complain much...at least there'll be money coming in at the end of this month.

I may not open my mouth about this and I may always give a hopeful smile, but there is one question that bothers me every night before I shut my eyes..."What happens after my two months is up?"

Yes, my friends....I may not say it but this question bothers me everyday. Everyday, I wait for my phone to ring hoping that it's a potential employer calling. I check my mail everyday hoping to find something from the companies that I've sent my CV to. I check the classifieds too but it's always to no avail...

I may not say it but it has become a very depressing issue for me...I look at my circle of friends and they all have steady jobs...the question that hits me is "Am I not as good as them?" "What do they have that I don't?"

All I want to do is bring home the bread for my family...my parents have worked long enough for the family...it's now my turn...but I just keep getting turned down. All I want is to do the right thing for my family. Some say it's a big responsibility that I'm taking on but sometimes my friends fail to realize that their parents still have a few more years...whereas my parents are both over the retiring age and therefore somebody else needs to start taking care of them. So my friends, when I turn down an invitation to go somewhere expensive, it doesn't mean that I don't wanna go but that I have to think of where the money is gonna come from.

What is it that I'm doing that is not right? I dress well for interviews, I'm polite and respectful, I answer all the questions as best that I can...but yet I just keep getting turned down. How much more rejection will I have to go through before I finally settle down???

Lord, give me the strength to press on and to have faith...because I'm losing it...

Steph done with the Flaming Lamborghinni!  

Isabel with the already very high Steph...hmmm... 

Now I know why I was laughing...Jacelyn was too busy with her phone and Al was picking his nose!Sigh...these are my friends... 

I don't know what it was but I was laughing at Isabel 

That's me, Cynthia, Steph (B'day girl) and Jacelyn...thanks to Isabel, our photographer 

First Day

I started work today and just like everyone else, you worry about the day of firsts...it wasn't nerve wrecking but I must say I was a little nervous. My fears were put at ease when I met the people I would be working with for the next 6 weeks or so...They're an ok bunch...The place is great...even though the center is by the main road, its still very quiet...peaceful...

I won't complain about anything as I think it's a great place to work but it's not for me. I cannot see myself working here for the next year or so...it's not my scene. I like peace and quiet but I thrive on the busyness of an office where everyone is so caught up with their own work with meeting datelines or meeting clients. I just love that...don't ask me why...I just do.

Nothing interesting happened on the first day...so much for being excited...

Nothing Special

Just for the record, Jack In The Box still has not called and it has been 5 days and counting. What gets to me most is not that he hasn't apologized but its the fact that he hasn't called to at least say he's ok. Making people worry is not good for the heart...Not at all.

I have officially given the keys to the shop back to my beautiful boss as I won't be going back anymore. No, I didn't get a permanent job yet. It's a contract job with Cancerlink. They're organizing this programme for youths with cancer and needed people to come in and work towards managing the event. It will be a new experience for me and I'm quite excited about it.

Went out with my chicas for one of the girl's birthday and I have to say it now so that I can forever hold my peace...I HATE HOUSE MUSIC!

Life hasn't thrown me any of its quircks so I can't really complain...nothing special...just updating.