This morning, it's quiet and peaceful with nothing to do as most of my work is done. I'm sitting at my table looking back at time gone by.
I remembered this conversation I had with a girl friend on MSN the other day and she told me how she felt depressed because her instincts were telling her that she was losing her boyfriend, the one person at this point in time that trully understands her.
I struggled to understand her and in my heart, I couldn't help but feel like telling her that if her instincts were strong, then she should just move on. She went on about how she felt God was punishing her and that God had left her. I continued to struggle as I continued to listen to her. Then like a lightning bolt, God hit me on the head and said, "You were once like that."
Oops...yes Lord, I was once like that. I am still like that sometimes. When I drive home alone at night, I sometimes blame God for my singleness.
But as each day passes, I am learning that God is right in every way. We need to let him decide for us what is best for our lives because the more we move away from him, the more our life seems to go the wrong way.
Cyn came to me the other day with a dilemma that I will not divulge. That moment, God spoke to me through her problem. He made me see that waiting, is the best for me now. That being patient is a virtue he values. That taking a stand for what we Christians believe, is always the high way but also most dangerous one. That compromise in not equally yoked relationships leads us to the fall ever so slowly.
Knowing these lessons, I am grateful. I have more to learn but going God's way, is the only way.
My favourite saying from Kingdom of Heaven:"What Man Is A Man Who Does Not Make The World Better."
Here's another song by Nichole Nordeman's latest, Woven & Spun album.Even ThenIt's a fear that keeps me wide awakeIn the middle of the nightWhen the expectations are too greatAnd the bar gets raised too highSo I do the best with what I've gotAnd hope that no one knowsThat I strain to see how high I canTry to stand on these toesUntil I'm measured, but You know better(Chorus)So, thank-You, JesusEven when you see us just as we areFragile and frail and so farFrom who we want to beSo, thank-You, JesusEven when the pieces are broken and smallDreams shatter and scatter like the windThank-You, even thenSo I put aside the masqueradeAnd admit that I am not okayWhich may not be the thing to sayBut I'm not ashamed to need You more each dayWe raise the standard and try to reach YouBut we'll never make it, and we don't need to
I was at Gladsounds yesterday to look up some music and I founf Nichole Nordeman's latest album. If you have the time and money, do get it. I have found that everytime I listen to her songs, I am blessed with a message that God wants me to hear at that point in time.
This round, it was the song 'Mercies New'. It reminded me that God's mercies are new each day and that I should give thanks for all things made new by him. Here's the lyrics to the song...Mercies New by Nichole NordemanIs it fair to say I was lured away?By endless distractions and lovelier attractions thenOr fairer still, my own free willIs the better one to blameFor this familiar mess I've made againSo I would understand, if you were out of patienceAnd I would understand, if I was out of chances(Chorus)Your mercies are new every morningSo let me wake with the dawnWhen the music is through or so it seems to beLet me sing a new song, old things goneEvery day it's true, You make all Your mercies newThe distance left between East and WestIs how far You would go to forget the debt I oweAnd thrown into the sea, the wicked ways in meWill never have a chance to wash back on the sandSo I would understand, if you would make me payI would understand, lying in the bed I made again(Chorus)
Up comes the sun on every one of usGone, gone, gone the guilt and shame that knew your name
The other night, as I flipped the channels, I stumbled upon a Hindi movie that was playing and it looked kinda good. And indeed it was good, filmed in New York and it has Sharukh Khan (did I spell that right?).
It was bout a girl who met this guy and then she fell in love with him but he decided to match make her with her guy friend because he couldn't be with her. He was dying because of heart problems.
So it started with a good and funny introduction and it had Andrea crying her eyes out for three quarters of the movie! Yes, it had a very sad ending and if you must know, I cry at movie and I really cry because I feel with the story and the actors.
Going to work was bad because I had swollen eyes from all the crying and I felt sick...Sigh...now I'm really sick!
Better be well because I've got reunion dinner on board MS Nippon Maru. Yes friends, SSEAYP is back and the ship will set sail again and take the trip of a lifetime. Those were good times....anyways....I need to be well...they're very strict about letting sick people on board...
God, get me well quick!