Confession

I can't do this...I just can't...I broke down again after talking to you...even if it was just to ask you if your dinner invitation still stands...I just can't do it...

Love Letter

Babe,

I'm writing this because writing is what I do best. Writing is my way of expressing myself. Yes, I can speak the words and you know it, but yet, writing is somewhat dear to me and nearer to me.

I am glad I found you in my high state of mind thanks to that bottle of wine. More importantly, I am glad you opened your heart to me.

I confess (yes, you know I like the word), that a part of me does not believe that all this happened and cannot make myself believe that you meant what you said. I know you assured me you meant every word but yet, I question it. I question it because I've been hurt before, I've been down that road and I don't wanna go back there. You said it twice before that you had never thought of us. So why is it that now you're telling me you have? Which do I believe?

I couldn't sleep that night. I tossed and turned in troubled sleep and everytime I woke up, the thought that came to me just before I opened my eyes was "I don't wanna hurt you". My insides were in knots the whole day thinking about you. I had so much of work to do and yet, with every spare time I had, thoughts of you crept into my mind.

I want so much for someone to tell me what to do, but I know they can't. They cannot decide the future for me. Only you can..only you can tell me where you see us going. I know you think this won't work because you don't wanna hurt me and you don't wanna lose the friend you have in me.

But I'm not that person you hurt and you're not the same person you were before (or so I think). How can you brush the thought aside when we haven't even given it a try? How can you brush me aside?

I don't wanna lose you but every inch of my heart tells me I am. Only you can change that...only you...

Love,
Andy Pandy

Confession

I've held on to what I've felt for a while now but thank God for our miscommunication or I would never have told you how I really felt.

I wasn't expecting you to answer the way I wanted you to answer me but yet, I must admit, there was a tiny hope in me that you would feel the same.

It's sad that you don't but I'm relieved that I still have you. I've warned you that I might push you away and I'm thankful to hear you say that you won't let me go.

Maybe one day...just maybe..

HELP Reunion

Pictures of HELP reunion taken last week at Passion. I'm too lazy to write anything. Pictures will do la...

Faroze, Cooper, Wan Cham aka Wayne & Geraldine

Adrian, SmallCyn & Steven (I used to have a crush on him..hehe)

Geraldine & Faroze

JosiePosie, Wayne & Cooper

Steven & SmallCyn

Geraldine & Cooper

Adrian, SmallCyn & JosiePosie

Me & Faroze ( I don't know what I was laughing and Faroze is a poser!)

I must have said something funny..either that or Steven is another poser

Adrian & SmallCyn

Steven, JosiePosie, SexyIsabel & Daniel

JosiePosie, SmallCyn & Me

Cooper, JosiePosie, Geraldine & Faroze

SmallCyn & Wayne

DannyBoy

The weekend saw a good friend get married. Our dear DannyBoy finally got hitched. It's sad he's no longer single but we're happy you found someone who loves you. CONGRATS DannyBoy!!
Next step : children!

Surprisingly, the amount of wine I drank and I ended up at home sober. At our table, we were singing to all the love songs and it really seemed like we were betul betul not ok...hehe...Thanks to JoeD'Moe and Sara...hehe...

Other than that, the weekend went by quickly and its back to work. It has been a boring day so far. There's a lot to learn but I haven't gotten down to it and the best part is, I know neither head or tail to most of the jobs. Just kill me now la...

Bad Karma

I think I need to read up on my astrology sign. I've been suffering bad karma the last few days and it is so not funny anymore!

First it was the nightmare before work. Then yesterday, just as I was entering the parking lot, my glove compartment decides to jam on me and I couldn't open it. Had to take a ticket and then spend 20 minutes in the damn parking lot trying to open the compartment...which failed to open in the end. Now, the compartment is a bit lopsided thanks to my pulling and pulling. Did I also mention that the stupid thing cut my finger so bad that the cut looks a bit green now.

And today...this stupid idiot of a man driving in Bangsar, has no idea how to drive he nearly caused an accident between me, him and another car. That was really scary because I was on the lane nearest to oncoming traffic. That literally gave me jelly legs wei...

On a better note, went to Passion for Carlsberg's get-together party and it was reunion for us HELP students. It wasn't too bad...it was a good catch up with booze involved...will post pictures when I get them.

First Day

I have been anxious about my first day since I got the news that I got the job. I don't know why but feelings of anxiety have been tuggingg at my heart. It's most likely the thought of having to learn new systems, new work, new clients and making new friends.

Yesterday, I spent about 2 hours on the phone with VainChoonYow, just talking and telling him how I felt. And he spent the hours helping me get over my anxiety. Thank you my darling friend!

I couldn't sleep last night so I had to take a little cough mixture just to get me drowsy and to get me to bed. Then the joke happens...I had a nightmare

In the dream, I woke up for work and went straight back to the old office and no one said anything about it. It was like as if I was suppose to be there. The half way through the day when it was almost ending, I realized that I reported to the wrong office and I kept asking everyone to help me but no one seemed to be able to. I kept asking for help till I woke up with a start. My heart was actually pounding ok...damn...

Today, I was taken to a meeting with the client and then lunch with another client and a whole lot of meeting people. Too overwhelming...

But the coolest thing ever, for all new staff, they're given a welcome kit and this welcome kit is actually a tool box...the idea is so cool...

Just got back from Ipoh. I wasn't looking forward to the trip but I'm glad I went. I had forgotten how these trips are fun. They're tiring but they're sure as hell fun.
Being with the group again brought back fond memories of the days when we were younger and we travelled more frequently to perform.

Sigh...