How much is too much?

I just got told by a friend that whatever i reveal on my blog is just too explicit and too revealing. I know I shouldn't take it personally because why should I care bout what others think but yet I am sitting here and it is bugging the heck out of me and I can't stop thinking about her comment.

It leads me to question how much we should reveal about ourselves. The thing is, this is what I think, I think that the feelings that we feel are real and it shows some aspect of us that is human. I mean, yes, I have made mistakes in my relationships and I acknowledge them. Revealing ourselves only goes to show how human we are in every aspect of our lives. For me, when I read my friend's blogs and I read about how they screwed up some part of their life, I sit there and I feel for them. For a moment in time, I am walking in their shoes and it shows me that yes, they do feel something and I see them as they are plain and simple. And I realize that just like me, they too have their fair share of problems.

I do agree that as Christian leaders, we have some responsibility to show good examples to our younger friends but then again, we're only human and we're bound to make mistakes whether we like it or not. I'm not saying that we should be encouraging them to make the same mistakes that we do just by reading our blogs but when they do read about us, it shows them that just like them, we are only humans and we make just as bad mistakes as they do. Doesn't our stories of pain become someone else's strength? I mean, we read about explicit stories about other people's lives and don't we sometimes find the strength to move on just like they did. Its like Bridget Jones, her diary speakes to women everywhere. Yes, it is a story but it touches into our pains and struggles and her success gives us the strength to do the same. Doesn't it? So how much is too much?

Stupid (Sarah McLachlan)

Night lift up the shades
let in the brilliant light of morning
but steady there now
for I am weak and starving for mercy
sleep has left me alone
to carry the weight of unravelling where we went wrong
it's all I can do to hang onto keep me from falling
into old familiar shoes

how stupid could I be
a simpleton could see
that you're no good for me
but you're the only one I see
love has made me a fool

it set me on fire and watched as I floundered
unable to speak
except to cry out and wait for your answer
but you come around in your times
peaking of fabulous places
create an oasis
dries up as soon as you're gone
you leave me here burning
in this desert without you

how stupid could I be
a simpleton could see
that you're no good for me
but you're the only one I see

everything changes
everything falls apart
can't stop to feel myself losing control
but deep in my senses I know

how stupid could I be
a simpleton could see
that you're no good for me
but you're the only one I see
love has made me a fool

People

I've just been reading some of my friend's blogs and it's hilarious what you read about people. I think the best thing about blogs is that it sometimes brings out the inner thoughts. So just when you think you know this person, there's something new to discover. It's like seeing people in a whole new light and you learn to appreciate them more. What gets me most is when I read about their relationships...I soar when they do and I break down when I know what they've been through..

These late nights have been getting to me..what's up with late nights???

My Tuffy boy...trying to be human and drinking water from the tap 

Men

I once got this phrase from a friend and it goes something like this : men are like public toilets. They're either engaged, out of order or full of shit. I thought it was hilarious and I think a lot of women would laugh at it too. But men...I don't think they'd be very happy with me...

Ok, here's the deal. To us women, it is quite true. The good ones are usually taken. The ones we think are nice are usually gay. So a lot of time the ones we end up with are the bad ones..well..for some of us.

But men, don't take it to heart. A lot of times women say these things because they have been hurt and we hurt a lot longer. We're not saying that men are full of shit...just haven't met the right one (if there's such a thing)

Now, I really don't know what I'm saying so I think I'll turn in...

Hellish week

It's 3 a.m. and I'm hardly feeling sleepy. Could it the fact that it's a public holiday? Maybe. I think it's also the fact that I finally got my internet back online so I'm rejoicing in the use of technology.

It's been a hellish week. I haven't been well, down with the flu. On top of that I had assignments due like one after another. Still have a 5 minute presentation to prepare for and my persuasive speech next week. Then I have a literature review to handed in on the day of my finals so this hellish week I'm having is goona continue for another 3 weeks. After that...it's FREEDOM!!!

oh...I just relaized I have a song that I need to choreograph...jeez..what else have I forgotten?

There's a part of me that will be glad to finish all this and there's a prt of me that wants to continue being a student.

Punishment

Most people enjoy their weekends...mine started off really swell on Friday evening..meeting with some friends and going to Bangsar to party..that was the plan for that night..but little did I know that I would get myself into a mess.

We went to Pharmacy because the group wanted a place to dance. I thought it would be perfectly fine seeing as Teddybear would be there and I might even be able to get us good seats. When I got there...I changed my mind and decided that I would not use any connections and in the end, we still got a good seat near the bar. I walked in and the first person I saw was him...we waved and we looked civil. The dread that I initially had disappeared. Seeing him again just made me want to be close to him again. After making his 'PR' rounds..he got behind the bar and he was busy....thats the thing about having a table near the bar...he was so visible!

We didn't talk that night and it was quite understandable but yet at the same time, I thought to myself, why couldn't he just come over and talk. It's not like we're public enemies..

When it came to going home, I looked for him and there he was outside the club with his arms around another girl...and here he had told me that he was still single! Well, I stopped to say goodbye like a polite person, but he happened to be talking to someone at that time. So I waited patiently behind him. The waiter told him that I was behind him but he just said hold on..then the waiter told him that the other girl was waiting for him and he just walked away after that without even saying goodbye! I was left to stand there like a fool....I felt rejected and dejected and I just put on a smile and walked towards my friends...

I can't help but wonder if that was his way of punishing me..but why punish me? What did I do to deserve this? It hurt me even more when he walked away..I mean, he seemed so open when I saw him but he just changed in the span of half an hour...so much for Teddybear...he just became 'Jack in the Box' all over again. Why is he punishing me? Why????