I think I am entitled to how I feel about the situation and examples used will always be examples. My brother's case has not influenced me to have anything against having a baby before marriage. I have always felt that way whether you even knew it or not.
Steph, I appreciate your opinions but I will request that you not ask me to deal with it because I have dealt with it. I may not show it but I dealt with it in my own way. So if you think I'm not being sincere, then you have wronged me by assuming so.
The point to my blog post was not to point out mistakes or to poke fun at anyone. I admit, I made judgement against her and it was wrong of me to do so. Instead of giving her support, I turned and ran. But I would rather give her real support now that I have dealt with it than show her an insincere support when she first told me. But if she cannot see it, then my only hope left to show support is to pray for her from where I am.
What I am trying to say is that I wrote that blog post to apologize and to make a public one for that matter due to fear that she might not want to talk to me in person. Blogging an apology was the next best thing for me. The point I'm trying to make is that I'm trying to make amends but I cannot do it if you keep shooting me down with your questions. I am entitled to my views but it does not change how I feel about her as a friend and that is why I said 'No matter.....".
This post is dedicated to a sister whom I may not always agree on things with but will always love her dearly for she holds a place close to my heart.
She announced to me the other day that she was pregnant. At the point of announcement, it came as a shock for me. Not positive, but a negative one for me. The reasons for a negative reaction I will not say but it overwhelmed me that I cut our conversation short because my heart could not take it. I know I should not have reacted the way I did and to this day, I wonder why I reacted the way I did.
She confronted me about this like she always does when something's wrong and with whatever defence I had in me, I fought back like I always do. It ended with us being angry with each other and we haven't spoken since. This is my attempt to make peace with her.
Yes, it does go against my beliefs and principles. I will not deny that and I will not be denied of it. I admit, the feeling of being safe is always easiest for me. Hearing your news brings me back to the time my brother finally told me that he had had a child without the knowledge of his family. It angered me when he told me. It felt like deja vu. The same feelings I had for you when you told me. I had judged you in my mind and I am sorry.
I did not stop loving my brother when he broke the news to me and like him, I have not stopped loving you as my sister and my friend. No matter how angry or disappointed I am with you, please know that I was never going to let you stand alone. I will always try to support you and you should know that by now. I am sorry and I love you my sister. You will make a wonderful mother.
By the way, Aunty Andrea is planning to buy little booties for him/her :)
I'm roomless at the moment. My bed is a small space in the guest room. My wardrobe is in suitcases. I'm a nomad until they finish painting my room and the furniture gets put back in. My room is gonna be of style. Now that I'm all grown up, there will be no more pink walls and pink cupboards. My room is gonna be white with a ruby red feature wall. There's much to do so I must find the time to do it.
Am still trying to get pictures from another surprise party in the office but because I haven't had the time, I'll leave that to later. Hobbit and SwenBobo decided to do their thing again this year..which is surprise me yet again. Only this time, I wasn't screaming in Taman Aman, I just froze instead. The venue was Delicious, Bangsar Village 2.
I froze and stared at everyone at the table...
Camwhoring starts off with me and Hobbit
Followed by SwenBobo and me. She bought me flowers and wine!
DannyBoy and Eunice joined us too!
Little Mels & FunkyMonkeyErin
FunkyMonkeyErin doesn't usually just eat salad...she's on detox diet man...
Eunice & DannyBoy came late so as you see, she's eyeing my food...
Yummy wine...it was really good stuff, Thanks SwenBobo
Front (L-R) : Eunice, Me, Hobbit; Back (L-R) : SwenBobo and Josh M
The group at dinner with SwenBobo poking my side. Typical Facebook style
Big thank you to SwenBobo and Hobbit for the birthday dinner. Love you!
Let me get all the pictures before I update. See ya soon!
I officially turn 26 today. It's been a tough few months for me emotionally and spiritually. I've been consumed by the ways of the world and I still am but there is a part of me lately that doesn't want to be apart of this world. True to the Word "Be in this world but not of this world" (I think that's how it's said).
Though it's been tough for me, and there were and are still times when I feel I am alone. But still, I thank the good Lord for family and friends who have put up with my ways and have loved me even when I doubted them. More importantly, I feel that God has been trying to tell me that he is still very much apart of me even though I push him away. He has spoken to me through songs that have been sent by JoeD'Moe (Everything by Lifehouse) and SweetSara (Does Anyone Hear Her by Casting Crowns). Thank you for the songs that have spoken to my heart.
I thank God for...
For sisters such as:
1) SmallCyn who's heard me cry countless times when I was broken hearted
2) FoxyIsabel for always offering advice when she could
3) Hobbit for being understanding and knowing where I stand
4) SwenBobo who's there in her own way. Thank you for offering to come over when I cried my
5) MommyYeeLing for giving me advice through her experiences
6) SuperJann for listening to me whine all the time
7) SweetSara for trying to listen to me :)
1) StaceyMyBrother for sharing his experience with me and for loving me
2) Jack In The Box for knowing me
3) Caroline (my ex-boss) for making me realize that these experiences are for a reason
4) VainChoonYow for sharing his life with me and for loving me at some point
5) JoeD'Moe for caring
6) Jason for also caring and taking concern even when I pushed you away
To whoever I've left out of the list, you are not forgotten. You have played a part in my life too. Thank you for being apart of it. I may not always say thank you, but please know that I am thankful for you.
Last night, I was nearly a victim. If you know where Menara Milenium is, you'll know that there are parking spaces opposite at the government building area. That parking lot is cheap but is super dodgy. I've heard many stories about that parking lot.
Anyway, I usually take my car out and park it outside my office around dinner time if I'm working late. Yesterday however, I thought since I'm leaving at about 8 something, it shouldn't be a problem. I've done it a dozen of times and so far nothing has happened (andrea secretly touches wood). I had parked all the way down to the last floor and thats the dodgiest of all and just as I was coming out the door of the staircase, I saw a figure in full black quickly move the side. I froze. I didn't know if I should continue to my car or go back up and get one of the guys to walk me. But I was curious so I walked to the side and I saw him move even further. It was really like he was hiding.
I had 2 choices. I could run to the car which was near him or I could go back up and get one of the guys to walk me back down. I think the whole time I stood there frozen trying to make a decision, this guy was watching me. In the end, I decided not to take the risk. I turned and ran tip toe back up 4 floors of stairs. It was fight or flight for me at that point la.
I was pale and shaking when I went back up to office. I finally got one of the guys to walk me back down. I was freaked and I kept thinking he'd still be there when we went down. Thank God I made the right decision to run.