Need A Break!

I'm having one of those migraines which I only get during menstruation...but this one has been going on since Saturday! It's not painful or anything like that, just a dull pain on the left side of my brain and my eyes feel tired. I thought I could sleep it off but I wake up in the morning with it.

Cynthia says it could be me feeling stressed out. Stressed out? Maybe....the past few weeks have been a roller coaster. The first two weeks was all about work. I didn't seem to be doing anything right at work. It got to a point that I felt like crying every night.

Then last week, it was all about personal issues. My walk with God, my decisions, my heart on my sleeve etc etc. Yes, I was questioned about decisions that I've made....I myself questioned the decisions. As some of you know, I was approached to go to Myanmar for mission and training. My final decision was not to go because, the feeling wasn't right, financially I couldn't afford it and work wise, I couldn't take that long a leave since I've only been with the company for 6 months. This got me into a heated discussion with the team leader because he felt my decisions may not be right. But then, who is he to know if my decisions are right...even I don't know whether I'm right or I'm wrong.

Then yesterday, it was all about me, internally. I couldn't concentrate on the message and all these feelings about being a failure in love just got to me. I looked around church and I couldn't find a decent guy. The decent ones were taken and the others were married. That pretty much left us girls with no one. Just as I thought I could see myself with this potential guy I met, it's dawned on me that he may not know I exist in the relationship department. He's a nice guy for what it's worth...but I think I should forget it.

At least the week doesn't end all that bad....I found out that Nick (First Love) has passed his exams and this means, he's a doctor now....Congratulations to you my friend!

So maybe, with all that has been happening to me recently, it has finally taken a toll on my body...hence the gnawing pain in my head...my monthly migraine has become a 3-day battle for me.

God...carry me during this time of trial and tribulation.

February baby girls, Swenie and Elaine. Lunch at Delicious Cafe, 1Utama on 12 Feb 2006. All of us were officially stuffed that afternoon. Yummy food!  

Single Awareness Day

From the time I could understand what Valentine's day was about, that was the time I decided that I would not succumb to this worldly celebration of supposed 'love'.

I won't beat around the bush but I'll give you the reasons straight away as to why I'm not a fan nor do I encourage it. Yes, it is true that Valentine's is actually to commemorate St. Valentine who was about love, but this world has made this day into a day that is meant for money making.

I'll put it nice and simply. There are 365 days for you to tell the people in your life that you love them. why only tell them today? There are 364 days (excluding today) where restaurants are not fully booked or have not raised their prices, why pick today to have a meal? There are 364 days (again excluding today) where flowers are sold at decent prices, why buy them on a day where they are sold 5x their original price? Why succumb to the exhorbitant price we have to pay just to celebrate today? Why insist that your boyfriend/girlfriend spend so much when he/she could be saving for your future together (if you're meant to be).

Instead of paying so much for all these things, why not surprise your loved one on any other day out of the blue and make them feel even more special. For me, I'd rather be surprised by receiving flowers at the office out of the blue and let the rest of my colleagues or friends wish they had my boyfriend. So the man of my future, please take note of this...otherwise, girl friends, please take note and remind him in the future.

I was reading TMT's blog just now and he came up with an even better idea for today. Single Awareness Day. If you're single, then today would be your day to be thankful for the freedom you have to do whatever you want. Today would be your day to be thankful you dont have to go through this whole money making scam. Today would be your day to be thankful that you dont have to go through the toils and snares of failed love. Here's a good one, today you be thankful that you don't to argue about who's gonna pay for the expensive dinner!

Call me single or cynical...so what....I'm happy I don't have to worry about today. I'm even happier, because TMT is right....of all the relationships or so called ones that I've had, I'm glad that my Father in Heaven is still the one consistent in my life.

Happy Single Awareness Day to TMT and to everyone!

ps: TMT, thanks for a new view of today.

Annual Dinner Pix

Below are long awaited pix of the annual dinner courtesy of Yee Feng and June.

Before the fun really began...

woohoo!!! Everyone's happy! 

taken in the room...i'm terribly high with joy here.. 

Shirl...whats with the tongue...smile la for the camera! 

The group that went to lunch

Chicken rice balls...yummy!

From Creation to Masterpiece

I look at myself in the mirror and I see physical flaws that plague me, I see mistakes that I cannot undo, I see regrets in past doings...but yet, each time I hear these two songs from Nichole's first album, I am assured that in my Father's eyes, I am the pieces that complete His masterpiece. Hence the change in the title of my blog as my life is not a 'so called something' but rather His masterpiece in the making.

To all who at times feel that your flaws, mistakes and regrets consume you, take courage and be assured that you are beautiful. These songs are dedicated to you.

Anyway
Bless the day this restoration is complete
dirty, dusty, something must be underneath
So I scrape and I scuff
though it's never quite enough
I am starting to see me finally
A gallery of paintings new and paintings old
Guess its no suprise that I'm no Michaelangelo
every layer of mine hides a lovely design
It might take a little patience
It might take a little time

but you called me beautiful
when you saw my shame
and you placed me on the wall anyway

you who have begun this work will someday see
A portrait of the holiness you meant for me
so I polish and shine
till its easier to find even an outline of mine

but you called me beautiful
when you saw my shame
and you palced me on the wall anyway



River God
Rolling River God
Little Stones are smooth
Only once the water passes through
So I am a stone rough and grainy still
Trying to reconcile this river's chill

But when I close my eyes
and feel you rushing by
I know that time brings change
and change takes time
And when the sunset comes
my prayer would be just this one
that you might pick me up and notice that I am
just a little smoother in your hand

Sometimes raging wild
sometimes swollen high
never have I known this river dry
The deepest part of you
is where I want to stay
and feel the sharpest edges wash away

But when I close my eyes
and feel you rushing by
I know that time brings change
and change takes time
And when the sunset comes
my prayer would be just this one
that you might pick me up and notice that I am
just a little smoother in your hand