Discontented

When I first decided to quit my job and take on a new one, i told myself it was the right thing to do even with the sacrifice of my salary. If I had stayed where I am and moved on to another agency doing the same thing, I would be earning 50% more than my previous salary. But instead, I took the plunge and made the sacrifice whereby only getting an increment of 10% from my previous job.

Most people said I was brave to take such a move. My answer to them was that it was my passion. It was something that I really wanted to do in my life.

Now after nearly a year of doing what I'm doing, I still feel the passion and the excitement expecially when I see my hardwork on print or on tv. But I'm not contented anymore. It was a choice before, but now it's not.

I'm not contented because the salary that I earn, I don't even really get to taste it. Three quarters of it goes to paying my bills : car loan, phone bill, dance class, insurance, credit card bills.

Friends ask me why I have credit cards. The reason for the credit card is to fund my spending so that I can at least taste a bit of my salary when I want to. Of course, it doesn't help that I am a shoppaholic.

Anyway, back to being discontented. Yes, I've started to feel very angry at myself because I can't even save up for a holiday. Each time I think I'm saving up, the money comes out paying for car service and the latest upcoming one, change car tyres. After that, it will be car service again and the before I know it, it's time to renew car insurance and road tax. And it doesn't help that most people my age in general are already earning a salary that is taxable while I'm still earning the salary of a fresh grad engineer.

So far, my dream of going back to Bali and going to Siem Reap as well as Boracay for a conference this year has slipped into the darkness. My goal of conquering Mount Kinabalu nest year is also starting to look a little shady.

If I wanted, I could quite my job and move to another agency. I've had people asking me if I wanna join them. But somehow, I like it here and plus I'm in training which is teaching me a lot of things. Hopefully when my one year here is up, I'll see some kind of hope. If I don't, then I guess its adios amigo.

Anyway, back to work.