Age.Is.A.Number

A friend once told me that I should never worry about age because it's just a number. But what happens when the guy you like is 2 years your junior?! According to her, it's still just a number. It doens't matter how far the age diffeence is... it's still just a number that we can overcome.

But eversince I was a teenager, I've always had this principle that the guy that i dated would definitely have to be older than me. If he wasn't, I was to shoot myself. So where do you draw the line to age difference? Well, some girlfriends of mine find that they don't have a problem with age because according to them, it's the heart that counts. But there are also girls like me who want a man who is definitely older because of the experience that comes with age.

Oh, how we have been fooled to think that the older men get, the more mature they become. Well, for some men, that perception applies but there are men who seem to stay the way they are even as the number increases. Sigh...

I wanted to shoot myself when I found myself liking a younger guy and yes, the guy was my ex. I liked him. I really did. But maybe we were just meant to be friends and that is why our relationship never lasted. On top of that, he wasn't mature as I thought him to be. I just felt like I had to take care of him all the time. But when I fell in love with my first love, I thought that may be it just might work since he's older. But to my disappointment, he wasn't very much better. Ok, he was a lot better but yet, he made me feel like I was the kid in the relationship and that i was never good enough.

Now I'm starting to like this guy and it's worse...he's two years my junior!!! What am I to do? Ok, he's nice and really sweet sometimes. But he's still younger!!!! Well, I've thought about it. I can actually imagine us as a couple but then why am I torturing myself by thinking about it...sigh...Like my friend Elvy was saying, I've probably like him for a long time but it's only now that I'm letting myself look at him an it's like the fly in "A bugs life", his friend is saying don't go near the light but he's saying, "I can't help it, it's so pretty". ZAP!!! And he died. And that's exactly whats happening to me now. I can't help it because my feelings are just pulling me towards him.

The sad thing is...I can never tell him....