Time Will Heal
It has been almost a week since I saw the light to what I thought would be my happy ending...What my anonymous commentor said is true, my head tells me one thing and my heart says another.
It does help that I have been kept busy with work and with friends but my days aren't always filled with work and when I'm at my loneliest, he creeps into my mind. Most times, I think about good times. I think of the things he said to make me laugh, I think of times when he told me to get myself together and get through studying....then halfway down memory lane, I stop abruptly because I start to think of the many times he has left me outside. With all the thinking that I've been doing, I've come to realize that even though I may have hurt him, he has hurt me too. I mean, what was I suppsoe to do when he decided to go missing in action? Sit around and wait? One can only do that for a short period of time, after a while, it just seems like a more rational idea to move on and that's what I did, but of course to him, it was me running away.
It angers me that I have had to keep doing that in order for him to trust me but in the end, what do I get? A nice big heartbreak. No wonder I keep questioning myself as to what I've been doing wrong...but the thing is, I haven't been doing anything wrong...I have tried to prove that things can change and that people can change... but I get NOTHING!
Well, I've cried my fair share over the last few days but like Kelly Clarkson says in 'Behind These Hazel Eyes'...."you won't see the tears I cry..." Jack In The Box, you won't see the tears I cried anymore because you wouldn't know and because I'm not gonna let you see it.
I know I will get through. I will pick up the pieces. I will love again...but only as time sees fit because only time will heal...
It does help that I have been kept busy with work and with friends but my days aren't always filled with work and when I'm at my loneliest, he creeps into my mind. Most times, I think about good times. I think of the things he said to make me laugh, I think of times when he told me to get myself together and get through studying....then halfway down memory lane, I stop abruptly because I start to think of the many times he has left me outside. With all the thinking that I've been doing, I've come to realize that even though I may have hurt him, he has hurt me too. I mean, what was I suppsoe to do when he decided to go missing in action? Sit around and wait? One can only do that for a short period of time, after a while, it just seems like a more rational idea to move on and that's what I did, but of course to him, it was me running away.
It angers me that I have had to keep doing that in order for him to trust me but in the end, what do I get? A nice big heartbreak. No wonder I keep questioning myself as to what I've been doing wrong...but the thing is, I haven't been doing anything wrong...I have tried to prove that things can change and that people can change... but I get NOTHING!
Well, I've cried my fair share over the last few days but like Kelly Clarkson says in 'Behind These Hazel Eyes'...."you won't see the tears I cry..." Jack In The Box, you won't see the tears I cried anymore because you wouldn't know and because I'm not gonna let you see it.
I know I will get through. I will pick up the pieces. I will love again...but only as time sees fit because only time will heal...
Posted by andrea at 8:19 AM ::
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2 Comments:
i liked & agreed with wat anonymous said & i'm glad you fnally see the light. take heart, cos many of us go thru what u've been thru. we survived, came out stronger, and so will you. enjoy life, dont wallow and let it get u down. being alone tho it may be terrible lonely at times, is good. tink of it as quality time for yourself and also time for God.
the best is yet to come :)
bravo girl..bravo..
i'm so glad to see u finally taking the effort to move on. it might be difficult but the grace of God is sufficient to carry u thru.
like what your fren mentioned, u will come out stronger :)
and pls do not blame yourself for hurting jack-in-the-box in the first place. forgive yourself. allow God to do His healing in your life, and also in jack-in-the-box's life. forgive him.
god bless :)
-someone who thinks jack-in-the-box does not deserve u-
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