Singlehood
Today, I got a message reply on my Friendster from a college girl friend. I had sent her a message earlier to wish her 'happy birthday' as well as asking about her well being and if there was any 'good news' of any sort. Today's reply from her announced that she was 4 and half months pregnant already and that the baby was due in March. What wonderful news!
And then I find out from Hobbit that another college girl friend just got engaged. You can read her story here . I'm happy for them because they trully make a wonderful couple.
I know I should be happy for these people and I am but yet, there is a part of me that questions. When is it going to be my turn? Will I even have a chance?
A lot of people keep telling me that I should enjoy my singlehood and that I should be happy being single because coupledom is not what I imagine it to be.
But here's what...I've been single for a long time. I have enjoyed enough years of being single. I've enjoyed years of doing what I want when I want to and I've enjoyed my independence. But now I'm tired of it. I'm tired of going everywhere alone. I'm tired of going out late at night only to drive myself home alone. I'm tired of having to have dinner by myself. I'm tired of having to barge in on my 'couple' friends for dinner because I don't wanna eat alone. I'm tired of putting up the brave front that I'm happy where I am right now. I'm tired of calling friends only to be told they've got plans with their boyfriends. I'm just tired of being alone.
It's easier when you're 22. It gets harder as the age increases. It gets even harder when 95% of your friends are in couplehood and they don't really understand anymore because they're not where you are right now.
And then I find out from Hobbit that another college girl friend just got engaged. You can read her story here . I'm happy for them because they trully make a wonderful couple.
I know I should be happy for these people and I am but yet, there is a part of me that questions. When is it going to be my turn? Will I even have a chance?
A lot of people keep telling me that I should enjoy my singlehood and that I should be happy being single because coupledom is not what I imagine it to be.
But here's what...I've been single for a long time. I have enjoyed enough years of being single. I've enjoyed years of doing what I want when I want to and I've enjoyed my independence. But now I'm tired of it. I'm tired of going everywhere alone. I'm tired of going out late at night only to drive myself home alone. I'm tired of having to have dinner by myself. I'm tired of having to barge in on my 'couple' friends for dinner because I don't wanna eat alone. I'm tired of putting up the brave front that I'm happy where I am right now. I'm tired of calling friends only to be told they've got plans with their boyfriends. I'm just tired of being alone.
It's easier when you're 22. It gets harder as the age increases. It gets even harder when 95% of your friends are in couplehood and they don't really understand anymore because they're not where you are right now.
Posted by andrea at 1:09 PM ::
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4 Comments:
walau! read your friend's blog and it's a story i always dreamed of! a marriage totally ordained by God! pray i'll follow that footsteps too! haha. and you!!!! c'mon! what's wrong with being single? eh, i was single all my life! =P it's a joy you must cherish cuz once you have a guy..man..there goes your freedom..and once you're married....whoa...you can't turn back time! well..i know what you mean but..still...enjoy what you have now. your time will come soon! don't worry! that time, when you want back your singleness..it'll be too late! muahaha! =P
dearest dearest Andrea,
*hugs* *hugs* *hugs! I really understand what you've been feeling... There were just times where I cried and begged for God to bring me the one who would love and cherish me as I was... Silence silence silence... But one thing I realised was that... when I was able to let go and let Him write my love story, the feelings became more controlled... And somehow singlehood didn't seem that dreaded. Slowly, He revealed the half written love story for my eyes. He's still writing mine till today... and the best thing is, everyone's love story is personalized. Unique and written just for the person.
It may be hard to trust Him cause all you see is just singlehood (or single-doom) but do try to trust Him. He's already begun writing your love story. You'll get to see it soon enough. And when you do, I bet you that you'll see the fingerprints of your Maker. A story written just for Andrea!
Lots of hugs and love.
sher =]
Well, what can I say but that I really understand what you're saying and where you're coming from.
But you know what? Sometimes I think that there is a good reason for this season of waiting. I know I am only 22 (as you might think) but it has been equally as hard for me during some lonely seasons.
But one thing's for sure - I know that our God is faithful. And He will never deprive us of His best.
Oh, the frustrations we have to bear, sometimes on a daily basis. But all the more I am banking on the assurance that if God allows me to wait, it can only be because something really exciting's coming my way. And who knows us best than our Maker, right?
Together with you in this. Much love and hugs,
Serena
^_^ It just feels one kind eh? feels like we're stuck in boot camp forever and ever; wondering when does the real combat experience take place.
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