Meet My Friend Cynicism

Cynicism...a word that I am awfully acquainted with for the last few years of my life. I was once an optimistic person...always picking up the pieces each time I fell...It was as if life could throw me as many hard balls as possibles but I would still be able to hit it back. I was never one to give up and I still am not, but yet, I have given up the optimism and opted for cynicism.

Cynicism helps me to stay in reality of things. I am awfully imaginative and my mind wonders at the slightest optimism and this of course, has gotten me into much problems with myself. There were a lot of times when I was just disappointed and the only person I could blame was myself. Cynicism, however, keeps me grounded and I tend to look at things with a pinch of salt. Salt that is just enough to give it taste but not rub too deep into the wound.

I remember watching Miss Congeniality and Sandra Bullock asked that gay trainer of hers why he was always angry and his reply was that it suited him and it fitted him. In my case, I would have to say that cynicism is like the perfect outfit for me. It fits me like glove...I think...

Wish I could still say that optimism best fits me but then with all the falling down that I've been doing, I can hardly consider optimism my best friend anymore. If only there was a way for me to leave memories behind...