Rehabilitation
"You need to get over him and move on....God wants you to wait because he knows you have hurts that you have not resolved..."
Easier said than done. My friend, TMT relentlessly went on about my situation the other day saying that I was not letting God do His work in me and that I should get out of my self pitying. Well, here's news for you, I'm not self pitying myself. As I mentioned in my earlier blog, I'm fine with the thought that I'm single and I've come to a point where I have no other choice but to accept it but there are days when you just don't want to accept it and those days can go on for a long time. God knows this. I know he does because I've sat in my room many times telling him about all this.
Is it easy to give up Jack In The Box? No. For you, Swenie, Patience and Joe, you say I should force myself to stop thinking about him and to let him go. I agree. I should. But I'm not like you all, it's not easy for me to let go because like I told you, when he's around, it feels just feel right.
It's just like a drug addcict. They go to rehab and they give up whats most important cold turkey style. It's ok for a few days. But when the want for the drug strikes, it feels like they're dying. They have to take cold showers just to shake off that feeling of wanting the drug. They come out of rehab feeling like they can start anew but there are many cases of them returning to their addiction. Why? Because the feeling is like coming home.
I'm not saying that I'm addicted to Jack In The Box. I'm just saying that thats how it feels for me. I check myself into the relationship rehab telling myself that I can get through this. But there are the bad days and these bad days happen when something or someone reminds me of him. It could be a song or even the smell of the cologne he used to wear. Sometimes those bad moments will just last for a few minutes but there are time when it can go on for a few days.
I admit, it has presented itself as a problem and I am trying my best to finish my rehabilitation. You are right, I do have friends. I have lots. I could ask them out most times and I have asked but only to be turned down. I'm not talking about your one time turn down, Patience. Most times, people who are attached think that their single friends will be fine without them because they probably have other single friends. Newsflash...not true. So those in relationships, please cherish your single friends because it can be hard for them.
TMT, I understand that you don't wanna see me go through life like this, but like you said, I need a guy who will understand that I'm sensitive and that I need a lot of TLC. For a guy who said all this to me, you are clueless then as to how to approach me about the subject. You were harsh and you spoilt my days.
But this is me, don't expect me to just pick up so fast. I'm not built that way. The wounds are deeper than the eye can see and its taking a long time for me to heal. So let me take as much time as I want because God has not presented the right guy yet....so STOP rushing me.
Easier said than done. My friend, TMT relentlessly went on about my situation the other day saying that I was not letting God do His work in me and that I should get out of my self pitying. Well, here's news for you, I'm not self pitying myself. As I mentioned in my earlier blog, I'm fine with the thought that I'm single and I've come to a point where I have no other choice but to accept it but there are days when you just don't want to accept it and those days can go on for a long time. God knows this. I know he does because I've sat in my room many times telling him about all this.
Is it easy to give up Jack In The Box? No. For you, Swenie, Patience and Joe, you say I should force myself to stop thinking about him and to let him go. I agree. I should. But I'm not like you all, it's not easy for me to let go because like I told you, when he's around, it feels just feel right.
It's just like a drug addcict. They go to rehab and they give up whats most important cold turkey style. It's ok for a few days. But when the want for the drug strikes, it feels like they're dying. They have to take cold showers just to shake off that feeling of wanting the drug. They come out of rehab feeling like they can start anew but there are many cases of them returning to their addiction. Why? Because the feeling is like coming home.
I'm not saying that I'm addicted to Jack In The Box. I'm just saying that thats how it feels for me. I check myself into the relationship rehab telling myself that I can get through this. But there are the bad days and these bad days happen when something or someone reminds me of him. It could be a song or even the smell of the cologne he used to wear. Sometimes those bad moments will just last for a few minutes but there are time when it can go on for a few days.
I admit, it has presented itself as a problem and I am trying my best to finish my rehabilitation. You are right, I do have friends. I have lots. I could ask them out most times and I have asked but only to be turned down. I'm not talking about your one time turn down, Patience. Most times, people who are attached think that their single friends will be fine without them because they probably have other single friends. Newsflash...not true. So those in relationships, please cherish your single friends because it can be hard for them.
TMT, I understand that you don't wanna see me go through life like this, but like you said, I need a guy who will understand that I'm sensitive and that I need a lot of TLC. For a guy who said all this to me, you are clueless then as to how to approach me about the subject. You were harsh and you spoilt my days.
But this is me, don't expect me to just pick up so fast. I'm not built that way. The wounds are deeper than the eye can see and its taking a long time for me to heal. So let me take as much time as I want because God has not presented the right guy yet....so STOP rushing me.
Posted by andrea at 9:08 AM ::
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3 Comments:
It is so hard, I agree with you. I have walked the path you are on and IT SUCKS! I was cheated on 90 days before the wedding date, a 5 year relationship. I even saved his life after the break-up, he had ableeding ulcer and stopped breathing on the toliet. I realized at that moment I loved him, but as he told me later, my saving his life meant NOTHING to him. Sometimes you have to hurt enough, before you completely let go, so you NEVER go back. seven years later, blind dates, and a few tries with the personal ads, I decided that was it and at 37 years old, I was going to be single forever. To keep a long story short, while at a wedding I attended--depressed and alone, a voice spoke in my head. It said I would not be alone by the end of the year. I am a fair Catholic at best, go to church a few times yearly. Well, later that day I met up with the sister of a boy that had a crush on me in high school. I had ignored him, when his kid sister told me of the crush. He was the only thing more nerdy than me in school, and I could not handle the peer pressure. I emailed him, and we got together for old time sake. Dinner turned into a 12 hour date, and I was engaged by Nov. The voice was right. You are right too, the pain and wounds are never easy to get over, for they still haunt me. Hang in there, and remember you need to be your own best friend. I wish you well.
I should emention it took me 1-2 years to work through all the hurt and pain, before I ever begun to think about attempting to date again. My heart goes out to you with empathy-for as I mentioned Ihave walked in your shoes. I just want you to know it evently will get better-time is the best healer. take care of yourself and remeber you are a good person that deserves love and caring.
as I said on msn, i'm sorry that i spoilt your days. I know the way i said things is not the way you receive things best. but remember i meant to just give u a wakeup call n nothing else. To look to the future and learn from the past, God has given you your job which u are thankful for after waiting so long. Rest assured that He'll provide u the right guy so dun bother to go looking cuz You dun need a guy to heal any hurt or make u feel complete. You'll find it all in His arms. Love yourself! Love yourself even more because you know that you are loved by the One whos love never fails! As always, I wish you all the best.
Peace my sistah
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