Love, Life & Other Mysteries

Monday, December 04, 2006

Ghost Of Christmas Past

The Ghost of Christmas Past has come to pay me a visit. Not exactly Christmas past but my past has come back to haunt me.

On Saturday, SexyIsabel invited me to join her and Al and Carrick for the soft launch of her friend's bar at The Curve. It was too bad that CynCyn couldn't make it that night. We had a quick bite and then headed over to The Sanctuary. It has a nice ambience but just reminded me too much of the old Voyeurs.

Anyway, women being women, we have our intuition. I had this funny gut feeling that I would meet a certain someone that night and my instincts were right. We were playing pool, and then as I looked towards the door, there he was...Jack In The Box...again.

The night did not end too well because he finally made the move to say hi and it was all good at first...then somehow, we ended up arguing and me later on breaking down. Thank God for wonderful souls like SexyIsabel, Al and Carrick. They were understanding and knew just how to be there for me.

Feeling distracted, the day became even more distracted when he called me early in the morning. We talked a lot about what happened to us and then also spent a lot of time catching up on the last one year.

In all honesty, I dreaded the fact that he re-appeared but yet, talking to him last night reminded me of the nights we would talk on the phone. Those were good times, of course.

But now, it's just confusing. Why re-appear when I've started to move on? Why now? Why not 1 year ago? Why not 2 years ago? Why now? Why had he not given me reasons for leaving me? Why make me spend the last 2 years wondering what was went wrong? Why make me spend many nights crying myself to sleep? Why now when I promised myself that I would never get involve with him ever again because I don't wanna hurt anymore...

I've thought a lot about it and here's a new promise...Here's my chance to just be friends...the way I want it to be...and so he shall be just a friend...(andrea silently prays that she can keep the promise!)

To the people closest to my heart, CynCyn, SexyIsabel, The Sisterhood, SuperJann, VonVon & CatchaVinod, please try to remind me of this every time you get a chance.

And to Jack In The Box, I don't know why we have crossed paths again, but I'm willing to find out if you're willing...Like SexyIsabel said to me yesterday, to end our past with grace and gratitude and to start anew with friendship at the heart...here's to friendship...

--------------------oOo--------------------

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