I Miss Hobbit

I miss Hobbit

I miss her laughter
I miss her shortness (that's why she's called Hobbit)
I miss her giggles
I miss being able to talk to her anytime
I miss drinking with her
I miss bitching with her
I miss the guy talks I have with her
I miss her presense

Hobbit!!! Please come home!!!

Singlehood

Today, I got a message reply on my Friendster from a college girl friend. I had sent her a message earlier to wish her 'happy birthday' as well as asking about her well being and if there was any 'good news' of any sort. Today's reply from her announced that she was 4 and half months pregnant already and that the baby was due in March. What wonderful news!

And then I find out from Hobbit that another college girl friend just got engaged. You can read her story here . I'm happy for them because they trully make a wonderful couple.

I know I should be happy for these people and I am but yet, there is a part of me that questions. When is it going to be my turn? Will I even have a chance?

A lot of people keep telling me that I should enjoy my singlehood and that I should be happy being single because coupledom is not what I imagine it to be.

But here's what...I've been single for a long time. I have enjoyed enough years of being single. I've enjoyed years of doing what I want when I want to and I've enjoyed my independence. But now I'm tired of it. I'm tired of going everywhere alone. I'm tired of going out late at night only to drive myself home alone. I'm tired of having to have dinner by myself. I'm tired of having to barge in on my 'couple' friends for dinner because I don't wanna eat alone. I'm tired of putting up the brave front that I'm happy where I am right now. I'm tired of calling friends only to be told they've got plans with their boyfriends. I'm just tired of being alone.

It's easier when you're 22. It gets harder as the age increases. It gets even harder when 95% of your friends are in couplehood and they don't really understand anymore because they're not where you are right now.

I Am A Cynicaholic

Hi, my name is Andrea and I'm a cynicaholic. I confess this because I acknowledge that my faith in God and in man has begun to dwindle down to the size of a pea. It is not easy for me to admit this, but here I am in all my flaws.

I have been going through a down cycle with God for about 2 years now. Many people have come my way and have tried to pull me back onto the right path. I thank them for their efforts. You know who you are. I have tried to take their hand but I have found myself drifting further away from the right and moving to the wrong.

God has worked some things in my life which I could stand and testify His power then, but yet, now I find myself wondering if those moments were real and if I could still do the same.

There are many questions that linger and continue to plague me concerning my faith and my status in God's book. I find that I cannot fully trust and blindly follow Him and so this is where I am and this is the road I must now take.

I wish that God would just tell me the answers to my questions instead of making me wait for them or wonder what he's trying to tell me. But...I know that that would never happen. And so my quest for answers continues and my time out of God continues as well.

People who know what is going on with me personally and those who don't have been reaching out to me through sms and email. Thank you for your effort. Today, the gift of a song was sent to me via email by LittleMels. You have found the most perfect song for me and so I publish it here for all who are in the same boat as I am or find yourself going down the road alone...


God Is God - by Steven Curtis Chapman

And the pain falls like a curtain
On the things I once called certain
And I have to say the words I fear the most
I just don't know

And the questions without answers
Come and paralyze the dancer
So I stand here on the stage afraid to move
Afraid to fall, oh, but fall I must
On this truth that my life has been formed from the dust

God is God and I am not
I can only see a part of the picture He's painting
God is God and I am man
So I'll never understand it all
For only God is God

And the sky begins to thunder
And I'm filled with awe and wonder
'Til the only burning question that remains
Is who am I

Can I form a single mountain
Take the stars in hand and count them
Can I even take a breath without God giving it to me
He is first and last before all that has been
Beyond all that will pass

God is God and I am not
I can only see a part of the picture He's painting
God is God and I am man
So I'll never understand it all
For only God is God

Oh, how great are the riches of His wisdom and knowledge
How unsearchable for to Him and through Him and from Him are all things

So let us worship before the throne
Of the One who is worthy of worship alone

Just Shoot Me!

Can someone just take a gun and shoot me NOW!

I'm being put in the middle of issues that I have no clue of and I'm getting it left, right and center...KILL ME NOW and get it over with!

Birthday Pictures

ok, here are the pictures I promised...courtesy of SexyIsabel and JosiePosie

It all started at Sri Penaga Condo where SexyIsabel is currently staying. I wouldn't mind having a place there...

CynCyn and SexyIsabel organized a girls only 'bikini' party. Yes, we started drinking at 5pm!

(L - R: LeeLian, Me, CynCyn, Bianca, YinEeeMeeny)

SexyIsabel would not allow us to eat until we were in the pool so here's our pose for the pool. We swam, ate a feast and then enjoyed more than hour in the jacuzzi. I was thoroughly relaxed...

Getting ready to party!

Us ladies posing for the camera. Picture taken by SexyIsabel's flatmate, Carik.

(L - R: YinEeMeeny, PrincessSteph, SexyIsabel, Me, Bianca, CynCyn & LeeLian)

Still sober....

This shot was taken by CynCyn...trying to give the seductive smile but I don't think I quite mastered it!

Judging from my counting the candles in this picture, I think you can tell I was already high.

Making a face at SexyIsabel for putting cream on my nose!

PrincessSteph is looking real happy here! (I call her princess coz she really is one...in a good way, mind you)

Ah...this is the 'evil twins' Sheng & Josh! Josh looks like he isn't ok anymore!

SexyIsabel and PrincessSteph!

My two darling besties : CynCyn & SexyIsabel

Ladies & Gentlemen, introducing CatchaVinod! He's a real joker and a good friend...

Confirm high already!!!

The photographers: SexyIsabel and JosiePosie

Happy couple : Sheng & YinEeMeeny

Another happy couple : Edward & CynCyn

Happy couple?? Yeah Right!!!! Now it's my turn to plot my 'evil' plan on Josh the next time I see him!

We're out on the balcony of Cynna Bar chatting (L - R : Me, Josh, CynCyn, Edward & JosiePosie)
One for the road before the night ended. Everyone looks happy! Too bad SexyIsabel and PrincessSteph had to leave earlier

Top L - R : Edward, JosiePosie, Josh, Sheng, Ronald & Gina

Bottom L - R : CatchaVinod, Me, CynCyn, YinEeeMeeny & LeeLian

Currently...

Yet another failure...yet another let down...yet another disappoinment... I can't go on...I can't fight anymore...

Current mood: depressed
Current question in mind: why..??

3 Day Celebration

My Birthday has come and gone. I must say that it was a celebration indeed. Here's my account...

Thursday (5 Oct, 2006)
Was suppose to go out with Merely Shirley but then we decided not to since the rest of us colleagues would be meeting up next week. I still wanted to go out so I went for dinner with CatchaVinod instead. We headed to Oasis, Bangsar. Surprisingly, Isabel was there with her some friends celebrating an early mooncake festival. Dinner ended up being me eating alone because 'somebody' heard me say something else over the phone. So he drank his beer and I ate dinner by myself -_-

But with his persuasive 'marketing skills', he got me drinking as well...

Friday (6 Oct, 2006)
Dinner with the family and then off to the park to play lanterns and watch the kids run around. Quiet evening. I got wine from my brother! YAY!! Who wants tot drink with me??

Saturday (7 Oct, 2006)
This would have to be the longest of the 3. Party started at 5pm for us girls. We had our 'bikini' party at SexyIsabel's condo in bangsar. The place is fabulously gorgeous. It's more like a getaway spa then a condo. We swam, ate and then enjoyed more than an hour in the jacuzzi. So relaxing that we didn't feel like going out anymore. hehe...

After our ladies only party at SexyIsabel's, we headed to Cynna Bar, KL to meet the guys. I must say that any of you who know Sheng and Josh, should beware of them on your birthday. They are the really like the evil twins. They just wanna get your pissed drunk! Wait you two....just you wait! They kept supplying me with JD coke and mind you, half the glass JD alone! It was damn strong that I dieded!

Oh..oh...and CatchaVinod played a naughty trick on me calling me while standing outside Cynna...you wait...your birthday is coming up...*andrea is plotting her evil plan*

By the time, CatchaVinod sent me home, I was going woo hoo already but surprisingly, can still stand and walk straight and still have a 'serious' chat with him.

Thank you for being there:
SexyIsabel
CynCyn
Bianca
LeeLian
YinEe
PrincessSteph
Edward
Josh
Sheng
JosiePosie
CatchaVinod
Gina
Ronald
SwenBobo (who made it for a while)

...

Right now, I am lacking sleep and I'm having a tummy flu as DannyBoy thinks coz I haven't been able to eat, and if I do, it finds it way out of my system. And with my condition, I still managed to go through dance training to rehearse for a performance that is coming up. I am feeling zonked.

Will post up the pictures when I get them.

Message In A Bottle

The future seems uncertain for you at this point. I know you feel afraid to see what lies beyond tomorrow. It's a natural feeling of anxiety before stepping into the unknown.

But remember this...remember that I am positive that you will excell and that you will face your challenges head on. Know that I know you are a person with a lot of hopes and dreams that you want to fulfill. I believe in you. Don't ask me why but I have confidence that you will make a change. Remember that I respect you for the person you are and for the person you want to be and that I care for you as person and that I will be there for you.

Take this with you when you start the new chapter:

Ability is what you are capable of doing

Motivation determines what you do

Attitude determines how you do it

What Is Your Love Style?

You Are 66% Passionate, 34% Compassionate

You are very passionate, especially when it comes to love.In fact, it's sometimes difficult for you to tell between love and lust.You jump in head first, and figure things out later... usually when it's all over!

Is Your Love Style Passionate or Compassionate

There's Something About You

"There's Something About You" - Jamelia

I could talk to you for days
You make me laugh one thousand ways
And I realise - you fill me up
Like hot water - in my tea cup I
'm enchanted by your smile
I must admit it took a while
For me to see that - this was something
More than - he's my friend, it's nothing
I hope to God you feel the way I feel
Cause this could be amazing
Something so super real

There's something about you and you don't even know it
I'm telling you now that you got me good
There's something about you and I can't help but show it
Damn right, you got me good
Now I'm not alone
With you I'm whole
I gotta let you know
You got me good

Your style, your voice, your points of view
The good, the bad and ugly too
Boy I'll take it (give it to me)
I'll be careful (give it to me)
Addiction don't come close to this
Official is what this is
Still I can't say it
No I can't say that I'm in love
I hope to God you feel the way I feel
'Cause this could be amazing
Something so super real

There's something about you and you don't even know it
I'm telling you now that you got me good
There's something about you and
I can't help but show it
Damn right, you got me good
Now I'm not alone
With you I'm whole I gotta let you know
You got me good

I just wanna
Be your all and all
I just wanna be the one to make you fall
I wanna take you away
I want you to be there for me
I want you here with me forever

Be my holiday, yeah
Oh yeah
Let me take you away

There's something about you and you don't even know it
I'm telling you now that you got me good
There's something about you and
I can't help but show it
Damn right you got me good
Now I'm not alone
With you I'm whole
I gotta let you know
You got me good
You got me good
You got me good

My Dosha

Your Dosha is Pitta

You have a quick mind, a gift for persuasion, and a sharp sense of humor.You have both the drive and people skills to be a very successful leader.Argumentative and a bit stubborn, you have been known to be a little too set in your ways.But while you may be biased toward your own point of view, you are always honest, fair, and ethical. With friends: You are outgoing and open to anyone who might want to talk to you In love: You are picky but passionate To achieve more balance: Be less judgmental of those around you, and take cool walks in the moonlight.

What's" Your Dosha?

Wish List 2006 (revised)

CynCyn was asking me today if I had a birthday wish list like I did last year.

"Do you have a wish list this year?"
"No. I want money."
"I'm not married yet la, dear. Can't give you ang pow le."
"oh."

-_-

Initially, I wanted to put up my wish list but then I decided against it coz what i really need is money =( I need money to pay for the renewal of my car insurance and road tax.

But since CynCyn insisted, ok, here's a short wish list.

1) MONEY!

2) CDs
Back to Basics (Christina Aguilera)
A Girl Like Me (Rihanna)
Borrowed Heaven (The Corrs)
In my Own Words (Ne-Yo)

3) Books
The Rolexxx Club (Meta Smith)

4) Perfume
Euphoria (Calvin Klien)

As I'm hitting 25 (I'm not afraid of telling my age), the more important thing for me is the company and the companionship that I have with my family and friends. It doens't matter what I get for my birthday, I want my loved ones around more.

Power Training

Went for training yesterday as usual. We finished our dance routine, learnt battle rock which I thought was quite cool. What was out of the ordinary was our 'power training'! fooyoh...sounds quite the canggih rite..

Power training is just basically strength training. Nicholai (our wonderful trainer) came up with the initial numbers of 200 push ups, 200 sit ups and 200 squats. Well, he wanted us to do 300 of each...but I think he pittied us and cut it down to 200.

I must say that FunkyMonkey Erin and myself did quite well. We each did 100 of each set in 40 minutes. Not bad *andrea gives herself a pat on the back* According to Nicholai, we're considered normal! Wah...I'd hate to know what was considered abnormal man! What's even more funny is that after that, we still had the strength to run through the dance routine a few times!

I love power training because it gives me the sense of becoming stronger physically. I'll whine about the number of push ups or squats I have to do but I'll do it coz there's an adrenaline rush. My legs are currently wobbly and my arms are aching and I can hardly drive or walk the stairs but I'm loving the feeling of feeling my muscles. Ya, call me crazy man, but I'm actually looking forward to next week's session of power training. Nicholai says we're gonna do it every week and increase the numbers each month. Woo Hoo!

This reminds me of what Joel always tells us. He always says that once you can get past the pain, then you would have beaten your pain threshold. Once you can get through your pain threshold, then anything is possible.

And so, even though my abs, arms and thighs are aching like mad, I'm going to the gym later...to work it. Thanks to Nicholai, I've been given the energy boost!